Written by Helenita Frounfelkner
Life Coach • Somatic Practitioner • Somatic EMDR Practitioner • Breathwork Facilitator
Helenita specializes in helping women reconnect with themselves through nervous system-informed, body-based approaches to healing. Drawing from both professional training and her own lived experience, she blends somatic coaching, breathwork, Somatic EMDR-informed support and women’s embodiment practices to help clients move beyond survival patterns and into a more connected, authentic way of living.
There have been moments over the past year when I’ve looked at myself and thought, I don’t feel like me.
Not because I stopped recognizing who I am, but because so much of what had always felt familiar suddenly didn’t. My memory wasn’t as sharp. My motivation seemed to disappear. The ADHD strategies I’d relied on for years no longer worked the way they once had. I found myself overstimulated more easily, overwhelmed by parenting, navigating unexpected challenges in my marriage and wondering why I felt so unlike the woman I’d always known myself to be.
If you’re in this season of life, perhaps you’ve asked yourself some of those same questions.
“Why am I so emotional?”
“Why does everything feel so much harder?”
“Where did the version of me go who used to handle all of this?”
If so, I want you to know you’re not alone.
Like so many women, I initially assumed this was simply about hormones. While hormones absolutely play an important role, I’ve come to believe they’re only part of a much bigger conversation. The more I’ve learned about perimenopause, the more I’ve realized how deeply our hormones, nervous system, genetics, stress and life experiences are connected.
Understanding that changed the way I approached my own healing.
It’s More Than a Hormonal Transition
Perimenopause is often described as a hormonal transition, and that’s certainly true. As estrogen and progesterone fluctuate, many women notice changes in mood, sleep, energy, memory, executive functioning and emotional resilience.
What isn’t talked about nearly enough is how those hormonal shifts can influence the nervous system.
When your nervous system is already carrying years of chronic stress, caregiving, overfunctioning, perfectionism or simply the demands of everyday life, hormonal changes can amplify what was already there. Suddenly, the strategies that carried you through your thirties may no longer be enough.
That doesn’t mean your body is failing you.
It may simply be asking you to relate to it differently.
When Your Body Feels Like It’s Betraying You
One of the hardest parts of this season has been feeling like I couldn’t trust my own body.
As someone who teaches nervous system regulation and helps women reconnect with themselves every day, it was incredibly humbling to realize that I was struggling to do the same. There were moments when I questioned myself, wondered if I was doing something wrong or worried that this was simply my new normal.
What I’ve learned is that many women quietly carry those same fears.
They wonder if they’re becoming lazy because they have no motivation. They question whether they’re losing their memory or if they’re somehow less capable than they used to be.
More often than not, those fears aren’t telling the whole story.
My Journey Has Required More Curiosity Than Certainty
One of the biggest lessons perimenopause has taught me is that I don’t have to have all the answers.
After a great deal of research, conversations with trusted practitioners and careful consideration of my own health history and genetics, I decided to explore hormone replacement therapy. It wasn’t a decision I made lightly, and it’s certainly not a recommendation I’m making for everyone else.
The truth is, I’m still in the middle of that journey.
Eight weeks in, I’m still learning. My hormones haven’t fully reached equilibrium, we’re continuing to adjust my treatment plan and I’m paying close attention to how my body responds.
That process has reminded me of something I tell my own clients all the time:
Healing isn’t linear.
Sometimes it requires patience, experimentation and the willingness to stay curious while you figure out what your unique body needs.
There Isn’t One Right Path
The more I’ve walked through this season myself, the more it’s reinforced something I’ve believed for years.
No two women are alike.
We all bring our own genetics, health history, nervous system patterns, life experiences and personal values into every decision we make. What works beautifully for one person may not be the right fit for someone else.
That’s why I’ve never believed in one-size-fits-all healing.
Some women find tremendous relief through lifestyle changes. Others benefit from nervous system support, therapy, hormone replacement, nutrition or a combination of approaches.
The goal isn’t to convince someone to follow a particular path.
The goal is to help them reconnect with their own ability to discern what feels right for their body.
That’s the Heart of My Work
As I was navigating all of this, I realized something that made me smile.
The way I was approaching my own health was exactly the same way I approach my work with clients.
I wasn’t looking for someone to tell me what to do.
I was looking for practitioners who were willing to listen, collaborate, consider my unique circumstances and help me make informed decisions without taking away my autonomy.
That’s exactly how I believe healing should work.
Whether we’re talking about nervous system regulation, somatic healing, perimenopause or personal growth, I don’t believe my role is to tell someone what’s right for them.
My role is to help create the space where they can begin trusting themselves again.
A Final Thought
If you’re in the middle of perimenopause and wondering where the old version of you went, I hope you’ll hear this:
Your body isn’t betraying you.
It’s communicating with you.
This season may be asking you to slow down, ask different questions and become more intentional about the support you receive. It may also be inviting you to let go of the belief that you have to push through everything on your own.
One of the greatest lessons this experience has given me is that healing isn’t about handing your power over to a doctor, therapist or coach. It’s about building a trusted team, staying open to new possibilities and learning to trust yourself again.
My hope isn’t that you leave this article believing what I believe.
My hope is that you leave feeling empowered to ask better questions, advocate for your own health and remember that you are the expert on your own lived experience.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Is hormone replacement therapy (HRT) right for everyone?
No. HRT can be life changing for some women, but it isn’t the right choice for everyone. Every woman brings her own health history, genetics, symptoms and personal preferences into this season of life. My hope isn’t to tell you which path to take, but to encourage you to ask questions, explore your options and build a healthcare team that sees you as an individual. - Can somatic work help during perimenopause?
While somatic coaching doesn’t replace medical care, many women find that learning to understand their nervous system helps them navigate this season with greater awareness and self-compassion. Body-based practices can support emotional regulation, stress resilience and a deeper connection with what your body is communicating. - How do I know if I need medical support, lifestyle changes or nervous system work?
The answer is often all of the above, and it looks different for every woman. Sometimes one area has the biggest impact. Other times it’s the combination of medical care, nutrition, movement, nervous system support and meaningful lifestyle changes that helps women feel more like themselves again. The most important thing is finding practitioners who are willing to listen, collaborate and tailor their recommendations to your unique needs.
You Deserve Support That Sees the Whole You
Perimenopause isn’t just about managing symptoms—it’s about learning to navigate a season of profound change with greater understanding, self-compassion and support. Whether you’re exploring nervous system regulation, looking for a more personalized approach to your wellbeing or simply trying to feel like yourself again, you don’t have to figure it out alone. The goal isn’t to hand your power over to someone else. It’s to build a trusted team, stay curious and learn to trust yourself again. Contact us and learn more.
